If you ever plan on traveling to New Zealand, it would behoove you to bring clothing items that you can layer and your most favorite rain jacket. If you plan staying, buy a hot water bottle (or as Kiwis call them – “hottie”) for those cold nights. And maybe opt to leave the short skirts and/or kilts at home unless you’re one of those people who enjoys showing off their nether-regions to any and all strangers in sight. New Zealand weather is bipolar. I’m fairly certain that the fickle New Zealand weather gods are related to Washington gods – both can provide all four seasons’ worth of meteorological activity in one cursed afternoon. Which is brilliant because I love leaving for class all bundled up against the freezing wind and then arriving in the sweltering sun and thinking that, even in this socially progressive country, it is still probably socially unacceptable for me to take off my pants in class. I try to wear layers, but I just can’ bring myself to break out the tear-away pants….
This week has seen torrential downpour and sunny clear skies alternating at ten minutes intervals. I’m scared to leave the cover of my roof. Still, I’m a little ashamed to say that I spent most of yesterday cooped up in my flat. Watching Twin Peaks. Nay, finishing the entire series. For those who don’t know, Twin Peaks is an early ’90s cult classic TV show set in a fictional town in the Pacific Northwest. The narrative follows the exploits of Special Agent Dale Cooper as he attempts to solve the murder of high school homecoming queen Laura Palmer. The show genre also somehow manages to combine supernatural horror and psychological thriller with soap opera parody. What a combo.
I’m sure that critics have written hundreds upon hundreds of reviews on Twin Peaks, so I’ll just share some of the (possibly spoiler-y) thoughts that crossed my mind whilst I was finishing up the second season:
- I want all the donuts.
- I’m miffed that my swallow didn’t get the memo that all female babies delivered to small Pacific Northwestern towns should be sultry and perfectly eyebrowed models.
- In high school it is unimportant to actually attend school (actually, I learn this from most shows that feature teenagers).
- Favorite couple: Margaret + Her log. Alternate favorite: Nadine and Mark. Tragedy when that ended.
- Ben is Donna’s papa? Didn’t see that one coming after three episodes.
- I’m never entering a beauty pageant. For that matter, I’m never attending.
- My best friend, Hayley, is Andy in a T Swift doppelganger body (sorry, sweetie).
- Where did that Texan girl come from? Texas, maybe, but why is she here?! We don’t sound like that in the ol’ PNW.
- Chess can be a killer game.
- Leo’s marriage philosophy is similar to my sibling philosophy – I think, “No one can pick on my sister but me!” and he’s all, “Hey! You can’t kill my wife! That’s my special privilege!” And his hair gives me the willies.
- Um, I’m sorry, Josie is inside a drawer knob? Makes sense.
- Seems like every other couple has a mildly to wildly inappropriate age disparity. Reminds me of Pretty Little Liars.
- I’m inspired to make a t-shirt with a slogan like, “Fresh outta the convent and ready for some action.”
- The name “Bob” has been forever ruined. I’m not sure that I can ever be friends with a Bob.
- Very Special Agent Cooper wakes up right after saving the day and says, “I need to brush my teeth.” Mama dentist would be proud.
- Where are they now? Well, congrats to Agent Cooper on his move to Portland and subsequently being elected Mayor.
And Donna, in keeping with the weirdness of Twin Peaks, decided to become an alien queen and fight the Men in Black. Keep shooting for the stars, girl!